Boring and interesting?
I am compiling, as I plan to have the most stellar transition ever known to any expat, EVER. Finding hilarious examples of tradition, rituals, absurdity, and delights has been amazing in my research. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of this culture, their respect for traditional hierarchy in family, respect for their elders, how children are seen and heard, the siestas, the wine, the food, the slower approach to existence, and their tolerance of annoying and tedious people. It's all brilliant. But as I research I think of Forest, and how we will all fit in.....
Today we are writing on the subject of manners. I am referring to many expat sites, as they offer every bit of minutia that one could possibly want to know about the wonders, and daily life that you will encounter in Italy.
The normal stuff:
Meeting People
When meeting people for the first time, you need to wait to be introduced. You will generally be introduced to the oldest person first, followed by women present. The exchange of business cards is a common when first meeting someone. Status is important in the Italian culture and it is common/good to list any titles/education you posses on your business cards. There are more tit for tat stuff, but things vary from region to region, this kind of sums most of it up.
Physical Greetings
When greeting someone, a handshake accompanied by a "Pleased to meet you" is appropriate. When departing be sure to shake everyone's hand, a general group wave as is often done state side, is not respectful. An "air kiss" is an appropriate greeting once you have established a relationship with someone, left cheek then right.
Bonus! I rock at air kisses. I am kissing the business out of every cheek I can.
Not so surprising:
Physical Space
Italians stand much closer to one another than Americans do. Our personal bubble that we are accustomed to is irrelevant. It is common for men to walk down the street arm and arm and also women to walk down the street arm and arm.
Again Awesome! I am all about cuddles and kisses!
Eye Contact
Intense direct eye contact is common, looking away is a sign of disinterest and/or that you are behaving rude. When giving a hand shake, Italians find it important to look others directly in the eyes.
Discussion starters/ making friends/must do's
First impressions are everything. Food, wine, Football (soccer), politics (if and only if-you know what your'e talking about), music, philosophy and current events. Italians apparently value quality in all aspects, including gifts. Such as wine and chocolate for gift giving, to make friends, or to give to host of any gettogether is honored.
Discussion don'ts/just plain rude
Inquiring about private family matters, personal income, stereotypes, World War II and Vatican politics. The common American question "what do you do?" is rude and much too personal. It is considered rude to refer to another by their first name, without permission to do so. It is an all time no-no to ever ask a woman her age.
Communication Style
Moments of silence are rare in Italy and repeated interruptions signify interest. This is where Forest will be a rock star. I cannot stop laughing about it. He will seem to be the most interested American that they have ever laid their eyes on.
Waiting in Line
Lines do not exist in Italy, it is not uncommon for someone to walk up to a counter and is served before you, whether you were next and have been waiting in "line" for the past 20 minutes.
Gift giving stuffs, and party hardy
Giving flowers is not as common of a gift in Italy, but is handy if you are invited to the house of someone you know a bit. you are expected to open any gift immediately, and pay attention to it (leaving it in a corner is considered rude and disrespectful). Wrapping gifts in black is for funerals or sad situations only- it is tactless to wrap a gift in that color for a normal situation. Wrapping gifts in purple is a sign of bad luck. Red flowers are only to be given in romantic or wife-to-husband events, and to bring red flowers in a normal celebration is considered over-the-top (red flowers indicate love and secrecy).
When arriving at a get together, you should not neglect the host, being a wall flower is rude.. Bringing gifts to a formal meal, even of close friends, is, highly recommended.
Delighted to partake in this ritual!
Walking
The evening "passeggiata" is a common occurrence in Italy. Strolling the streets, seeing who is out and catching up with friends is a nightly occurrence in Italy.
Shopping
Customer service is not as "in your face" as it is in the United States. Generally a salesclerk will ignore you until eye contact is made signaling service is required.
Public Transportation
The easiest way to catch a taxi cab is at a taxi stand. On public transportation it is customary for the younger to give up their seats to the older and men to give up their seats to women.
Tipping
The tip is generally already included in the price at a restaurant. A standard tip for a taxi driver is 10 percent. Bellmen usually receive 1 Euro per bag.
Fancy time! YEY!!!!
Appropriate Dress
In general Italians dress much more formally than Americans. Italians value "quality" in their clothing and are much more likely to own 2 very nice expensive suits than 6 decent cheaper suits. Black and muted colors are common in combination with brighter colored accessories.Italian women tend to wear more makeup than American women and also wear nylons all year round.
Meal Time
Breakfast is generally from 8 to 8:30 AMA standard Italian breakfast is coffee (espresso is generally served after dinner) with a croissant or a couple of cookies.Lunch is generally served from 1 to 3 PMIn the south lunch is the biggest and longest meal of the day, in the North it is often the biggest meal of the day but during the business week it does not last as long as it does on the weekend. A typical lunch includes soup, bread and olive oil, a main meal and/or soup, salad and a desert of fruit. Wine and sparkling mineral water usually accompanies the meal.Dinner is generally served from 8 to 10 PMIf the main meal of the day was lunch, then dinner is often a light affair taken at home. If however it was not a typical dinner is quite elaborate. Formal Italian meals consist of: antipasto (such as proscuitto, bruschetta, or fruit), soup, pasta, main dish (usually meat), salad, cheese, desert, fruit and an espresso. Wine is also commonly taken with dinner.
Table Manners
The Italians do not switch their knife and fork as people do in the States. The fork remains in the left hand and the knife in the right hand.Placing your utensils down on your plate signifies to wait staff that you are finished.When not using your utensils your hands should be kept visible above the table.Dishes are passed to the left.To get a waiters attention you should make contact, waving your hand or calling out is considered to be rude.Often times in an informal restaurant you will be seated at a table with a stranger, if this is the case conversation is not expected.
Who Pays?
In general the person who does the inviting also does the paying, although the guest is expected to protest. When a woman is seated at a table with men the men (despite a woman's protest) will always pick up the bill. I'll be going to dinner with the boys, lol.
Ugh! I hate the "p" word.
Punctuality
The further south you go the less importance is placed on being on time. For social events being a half an hour to an hour late is common. When people are late resist the American temptation to request the reason. Lateness is generally because a person was involved in obligations that involved superiors, family or old friends (and it would have been rude to cut it short).
Joanna Lehmann and wiki are most of my main sources for this fella.
